Addiction Leads to Failed Relationships

Many people attempt to date or become romantically involved while they are addicted to a substance or an activity, despite this decision having a long human history of failure. Dating while grappling with addiction is a recipe for disaster. The qualities that dating requires, such as sensitivity, affection and selflessness, are the exact qualities that addiction robs a person of. If you have any intention of relationship success and healthiness, ending your addiction before becoming involved romantically is the way to go.

Addicts commonly tell themselves that they are in control of their addiction instead of their addiction being in control of them. Denial is the universal hallmark of addiction. It is this false confidence that informs their decision to date when dating should be the last thing on their minds. Their false confidence also gives them the ability to initially convince those they date that they are not addicted by carefully concealing their habit.

However, it is only a matter of time before the other person becomes aware of their romantic interest’s addictive tendencies. As the two people spend more time together and the addict becomes less and less careful about their behavior, the other person will begin to catch on. At first they are concerned, then upset, then resentful. If the two people have become attached to one another, the other person may stick around and try to encourage the other to quit their addiction, which usually declines into hopelessness and frustration. Or it could be that both partners are addicts and stay together to create an extended dysfunctional relationship. Typically, what happens is the non-addicted partner walks away first, and is followed by a procession of non-addicted partners who choose to walk away. The hard reality is that most people do not choose to suffer through addiction with someone. Instead, they protect themselves and leave.

Ultimately, people want to please their romantic partners and have something valuable to offer them. This is why the most intelligent thing an addict can do for their romantic partner is to end their denial and receive treatment for the addiction that is interfering with their relationship. For healthy dating relationships, cease all dating activity until recovery from addiction is mature.

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