Signs that your partner has a mental health problem

If you notice that your partner has developed a strange behavioral pattern that you have not observed before, she might be dealing with a mental health problem.

When most people have a mental illness, it is usually difficult for them to communicate how they are feeling, because most of them don’t understand it.

For instance, someone who is depressed might never mention to their partner that they are suffering from depression.

It only takes good moments of observation from the unaffected partner to notice that their other half is depressed.

Here are some of the signs your partner may have a mental health problem

They are more private

One of the ways to tell your partner has a mental health problem is when they become more private than before.

You will notice that they are always isolating themselves from you, and other people in their lives. The reason is usually that they are dealing with these emotions, and they are having a hard time figuring out the root cause.

Most times, they will prefer to keep to themselves until they find out what is going on.

They are uninterested in intimacy

Another way to know when mental illness is at play is when your partner is not interested in physical intimacy.

When your partner is dealing with anxiety or depression, it can sap their self-esteem and energy, making them uninterested in many things, including sex.

So, when you request intimacy, and they are always rejecting it, this may be one of the signs that your partner isn’t their usual self.

They are unproductive

People struggling with mental health problems find it hard to be productive. They might not perform well at work like before.

It might also be difficult for them to make progress in other aspects of their lives because their emotions and feelings are preventing them.

There are several other signs including not answering calls and texts, always feeling unwell, substance abuse, etc. When you notice these signs, be supportive of your partner, and seek help for them from a reputable mental health counselor.

Effects of mental health problems in a romantic relationship

Many people experience mental health problems at least once in their lifetime. According to studies, mental health problems can reduce a person’s quality of life. It can also cause a decline in productivity and affect their mental health.

If you are in a relationship, and you or your partner has a mental health problem, it can affect the union in some ways.

In this post, you will learn how mental health problems affect intimate relationships.

Shame and guilt

Someone with mental health problems in a romantic relationship will always feel embarrassed and guilty about their problems. This is why most of them will try to hide what they are facing so that their partner doesn’t discover.

They might think that their partner will blame them for what they are facing. In some cases, when their partner discovers, they might not know the right step to take when helping them.

Therefore, it might be a struggle to maintain the same level of intimacy with someone who doesn’t understand what you are going through.

Intimacy issues

When any of the partners in a relationship have mental health problems, it may be challenging to remain intimate with their spouse.

The person might not always feel like having sex or maintaining a romantic disposition with their partner.

This is because people with mental health problems usually have anxiety and low confidence levels. Therefore, bonding between both partners might be difficult.

Poor communication

Someone dealing with a mental health problem has a wide range of emotions to address. Most times, they might be focused on these emotions, leaving out their partner which is not intentional.

They will be unable to articulate how they feel because they don’t understand it yet. The unaffected partner might begin to feel bad that their other half is leaving them out of their challenges.

It is crucial for partners to always communicate with each other, especially when they are going through difficult times. This will make it easier to seek help when dealing with any mental illness.


Prior to entering a relationship, it is essential that you put some measures in place that would ensure your relationship does not hit the rocks. One of which is your mental health which needs to be stable for your relationship to progress.

Mental health is one aspect of health that people do not really pay attention to. They give more attention to their physical health than mental health, without realizing that the two of them go hand-in-hand.

Advisably, people who have mental health are advised not to enter a relationship. The reason for this is it is difficult for them to give their all to the relationship without encountering tough and challenging times.

For instance, someone who is suffering from depression would not make a relationship fun-filled as it should be.

Hence, it is suitable to sort out yourself before committing to a partner, it saves you lots of challenges that you might face in your relationship.

There is one way to know if you have a mental health problem. If you observe and see that you exhibit behaviors that is beyond the normal, then you might be showing signs of a possible mental health problem.

Thankfully, there are proficient treatment for mental health problems that aim to put your life back on track. And it is best that from time to time, check on your health by seeing a medical practitioner who would be able to detect if you have an underlying mental health problem or not.

If you are verified to have a mental health problem, there is no need to fret. The best step to take is to follow the directives of your health care provider. With time, you will be glad to discover that the state of your mental health is better than before.

Starting from the counseling stage, you will discover the root cause of your mental health and you will have a more directional sense of purpose.  


Addiction negatively impacts everything around an individual, including their relationships. One common symptom of an individual’s addiction is their lying and denial attitude, and they cannot be blamed for this.

It is a common practice for people who are addicted to receive lots of criticisms from those who are not addicted.

Hence, addicted individuals would rather remain in their addiction than open up to people because of the way people would treat them. For people in relationships, it is usually tough when addiction is in the picture.

If one of the duo is addicted and the other is not, it is usually difficult for both of them to agree on lots of things. It could get worse if the addiction begins to rub off on the person who is not addicted.

It could also go the other way round because the person who is not addicted might try to convince the addicted person to quit their addiction.

With addiction in a relationship, there is a likely chance for distrust to enter, particularly when the addicted individual refuses to tell the other of their addiction problem.

The addicted individual then begins to hide things from their partner and this causes conflicts in the relationship, making it a recurring event.

The worst case scenario is when both parties are addicted. When this happens, it is very difficult for either of them to let go of their addiction problem.

Addiction finds strength in unity and when two lovers are addicted, they would refute the opinion of everyone around them who is trying to convince them to quit.

These lovers would spend a lot on their addiction and it begins to reflect in their finances. If both of them are jointly hooked on both drug and alcohol addiction, they could become broke if care is not taken.

It is needed to seek help when any form of addiction is in the picture, because of the varying adverse effects that they come with.  


When an individual is hooked on addiction, the crave for alcohol and drugs never seems to die down, and this intense need has the ability to trump the love which they have for everything. It first starts with an innocent use for either drugs or alcohol, and before they know it, using this substance becomes topmost priority, and hence causing a strain on those they love.

Addiction has the capacity to greatly change the personality of an individual, making them different from who they used to be before they got addicted. They become more withdrawn to themselves, and because of shame and guilt, they become more secretive.

There are three major effects which substance addiction has on a relationship, and they are as follows:

  • Trust fades off: When the addiction phase is in progress, trust begins to decline, and this is due to the fact that the addicted person begins to hide things from their partner, and begin to give all sorts of excuses for their uncalled-for behaviour. Trust is a necessary ingredient in a relationship, and once it is strained, it would be hard to fix because it induces feelings of jealousy and fear.
  • Unstable Emotional levels: When you are in a relationship with a person who has an addiction, it can be likened to being in a vehicle, taking down rough terrains and smooth ones alike. There are times when they would feel good, and other times, they would feel otherwise. They are usually very volatile, and their lives are contained with erratic lows and highs, which could induce violence in a relationship. This is usually due to the fact that they are unable to see beyond the choices which the substance gives them.
  • Affects those around them: Asides the fact that it affects both parties in a relationship, addiction also has the capacity to affect people around them. It would be difficult for them to maintain a good communication level with people close to them.

If you are in a relationship with an addict, it is best to assist them in seeking help, so that they can break free from it, before it adversely affects your relationship.


Addicts that are undergoing therapy for recovery have taken time to actually work on themselves, and their relationship with other people. Hence, they are not new to keeping and sustaining relationships. They have studied, and are vast in good relationship skills which includes the ability to communicate how they feel about others, while respecting the limits set by them.
Recovering addicts do not look for aptness and perfection in their partners because, they have come to understand that such things does not exist. They are ready to accept the flaws that their partners have and try to live in harmony with it. They also have a sense of commitment to stand for their values, and they strive for integrity and uprightness in all of their dealings especially relationship wise.
In recovery, a lot of things are learnt by an addict and not just staying in a state of soberness and deep reflection, but also learn to lead a happy and fulfilling life. The concept of recovery is the one that lasts throughout the life of the addict and as such, there is always an attempt for self-improvement at each phase of their lives. Regardless of the fact that they might have not have experienced a smooth past, they still stand as people who you can live and partner with.
There are some important steps a recovering addict must take to become ready relationship wise. First, the recovering addict must have undergone consistent and intentional act of sobriety and abstinence in other to have a clear mind void of distractions and temptations.
Also, they should engage themselves in recovery activities like actively involving themselves in various programs or duties that can keep them busy. Volunteering to serve in events is also one way they can engage themselves. All these activities would prepare them for the people they want to go into a relationship with, and as well build the assurance level of their partners with the faith they are going into a relationship with people that are responsible.
Similarly, it is important for anyone going into a relationship with a recovering addict, to have a clear conscience about it. Research has shown that people tend to have a negative disposition to addicts, and judge them starkly even more than those suffering from other issues like obesity, and other body and health disorders. Hence, if a person is of the view and opinion that addiction is a huge flaw for anyone experiencing it, it is better to abstain from addicts then.

Dating While Struggling with Addiction

Addiction is a condition that affects every area of a person’s life. There is no such thing as being addicted and not facing consequences. Every person who struggles with addiction or has been addicted at some point in their life knows what it is like to lose control of their life. It does not happen overnight, but is like a sweater with a loose thread that unravels gradually, which is why it can be so difficult to detect it or understand its severity. For those who are struggling with addiction, it is very important to understand that eradicating addiction should be your primary and singular objective. Until a person can manage their addiction tendencies in a healthy way, they should not pursue any type of romantic relationship. If a person is already married when their addiction is confronted, it is normal and healthy to work toward saving the marriage. But when a person knows they need help managing their addiction, that is not the time to date.

If a person dates before they have brought their addiction under control, it can only end badly for them. Ending addiction takes an incredible amount of energy and focus, as does a new romantic relationship. When a person is addicted, they cannot afford to divide their attention between recovery and other life changes. They need to refrain from dating so as to focus on their mental health progression. Besides that, they have the other person to think about as well. It is irresponsible to date during addiction because addiction makes it impossible to treat a new romantic interest well. The very nature of addiction is to be compulsive, self-absorbed, unpredictable and unavailable. No decent person wants to treat someone they like this way, but they are the universal staples of addiction. Anyone who thinks they can indulge in their addiction and be above the unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that addiction creates is deluded. For the good of yourself and the likable people you meet, do not date until your addiction is resolved.

Dating While Addicted Causes Hurt

There is no point in a relationship when addiction can do anything but cause hurt, however, the least hurt is caused in the dating phase. Dating is the initial point in a relationship when attachments have not become strong yet. Rational people date knowing that either party is free to sever the relationship at any point because no commitments or promises have been made. Dating is a preliminary trial period. This is why addiction does the least damage in this phase. Not only is the addict on their best behavior in order to make a good impression, but the person dating the addict is the least attached they will ever be to addict and is free to distance themselves from harmful behavior without a guilty conscience.

It is highly recommended that addicts do not date at all. As a general rule of thumb, addicts should cease most of their life activities to focus on recovering from their addiction. There should be no higher priority than addiction recovery to an addict and their support system. Dating is at the top of the list of activities that should cease during addiction. Dating while struggling with the mental disorder that is addiction is not fair to yourself or anyone who dates you. If you know that you are not mentally healthy, you should not be offering yourself to potential relationships. Mental health is vital to the success of a relationship, and mental disorders are toxic to a relationship. Seek help first, then resume the dating game.

If you are dating someone whom you fear is an addict, be watchful for the signs of addiction, which typically include secretive behavior, irritability or mood swings, weight and health fluctuation, a focus or a fascination on a particular something and a refusal to give that something up. If you are certain that the person is an addict, talk to people who are close to them so that they can discuss addiction treatment or counseling with the addicted person.

Receive Addiction Treatment Before Dating

It is a well agreed upon fact that people should not date when they are struggling with addiction, yet it still happens every day. One person or two people who are addicted take a liking to one another and proceed into a dysfunctional dating relationship that ends in turmoil, destruction or sometimes even death. Dating while addicted is detrimental to both people, and should be avoided. Throughout Canada and the United States, people struggle with wanting to date despite not having conquered their addictions, such as addiction in Vancouver, Los Angeles and Montreal.

Receiving addiction treatment before entering the dating scene is not only recommended for a healthy relationship, it is essential to it. Addiction treatment does not just stop addictive behavior; it restores a person’s mental health and cognitive behavioral rationality to them. It discovers the core of the person’s underlying issues that spawned addiction in the first place and eradicates them. It gives the person the tools they need to function in the world with good physical and mental health. If someone chooses not to deal with these matters before dating, they are bringing all of that baggage, confusion and dysfunctional nature into a new relationship, which results in pain and frustration for both people over a long course of time. Who would willingly choose to do this to a relationship?

When someone commits to addiction treatment, they are also committing to protecting the hearts and minds of the people they will have close relationships with in the future. When someone chooses recovery over addiction, they are allowing their loved ones to heal as well as themselves. Addiction treatment detoxes a person of any substances they have been abusing, leads them through readings, assignments and exercises to discover what made them addicted in the first place and provides ongoing support to clients even after they have graduated the program. Inpatient rehabilitation has proven to be the most effective way to defeat addiction for yourself and for those in your life.

The importance of quitting your addiction before dating cannot be overemphasized. In addiction, you can only offer a romantic partner pain and devastation, but in recovery, you can offer a romantic partner all of your potential!

Addiction Leads to Failed Relationships

Many people attempt to date or become romantically involved while they are addicted to a substance or an activity, despite this decision having a long human history of failure. Dating while grappling with addiction is a recipe for disaster. The qualities that dating requires, such as sensitivity, affection and selflessness, are the exact qualities that addiction robs a person of. If you have any intention of relationship success and healthiness, ending your addiction before becoming involved romantically is the way to go.

Addicts commonly tell themselves that they are in control of their addiction instead of their addiction being in control of them. Denial is the universal hallmark of addiction. It is this false confidence that informs their decision to date when dating should be the last thing on their minds. Their false confidence also gives them the ability to initially convince those they date that they are not addicted by carefully concealing their habit.

However, it is only a matter of time before the other person becomes aware of their romantic interest’s addictive tendencies. As the two people spend more time together and the addict becomes less and less careful about their behavior, the other person will begin to catch on. At first they are concerned, then upset, then resentful. If the two people have become attached to one another, the other person may stick around and try to encourage the other to quit their addiction, which usually declines into hopelessness and frustration. Or it could be that both partners are addicts and stay together to create an extended dysfunctional relationship. Typically, what happens is the non-addicted partner walks away first, and is followed by a procession of non-addicted partners who choose to walk away. The hard reality is that most people do not choose to suffer through addiction with someone. Instead, they protect themselves and leave.

Ultimately, people want to please their romantic partners and have something valuable to offer them. This is why the most intelligent thing an addict can do for their romantic partner is to end their denial and receive treatment for the addiction that is interfering with their relationship. For healthy dating relationships, cease all dating activity until recovery from addiction is mature.